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Greetings truth seekers! Ben here again with the hottest of takes on the latest royal news. Word on the street is that our favorite attention-seeking former royal Meghan Markle has allegedly set her sights on a new career path - one in American politics no less. Now I've seen some delusional plots in my day, but this one takes the cake, the bakery, and the entire grocery store too.
Let's break this down shall we? First, these royal commentators are drawing parallels between Meghan and Vice President Kamala Harris. They say the two are alike because they both speak in word salad and laugh awkwardly. Wow, what groundbreaking analysis! Next they'll tell us they both need oxygen to live. But here's where it gets ridiculous - they're using these superficial comparisons to fuel speculation that Meghan has political ambitions. As if sharing a few traits with a politician qualifies you to run for office. News flash - it takes far more than that.
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Meghan is about as qualified for politics as I am for brain surgery, and trust me, you don't want me anywhere near your frontal lobe. This is a woman who couldn't even hack it as a working royal. She spent all of 18 months trying to "modernize the monarchy" before deciding it was too hard and bailing. And now we're supposed to believe she's ready to tackle the complexities of American politics? Give me a break!
But you know what really grinds my gears? The sheer audacity of it all. Meghan seems to think she can just waltz into any field she wants - Hollywood, the British monarchy, and now apparently U.S. politics - and expect everyone to bow down. Well guess what Meg, politics isn't like marrying a prince. You can't just bat your eyelashes and expect the entire Democratic party to welcome you with open arms. This isn't a fairy tale - in the real world, you need more than a good sob story and a tiara.
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And speaking of sob stories, Meghan has certainly perfected playing the victim card. Every time she opens her mouth it's another tale of woe - boo hoo the palace was mean, boo hoo the media is so unfair, boo hoo my multi-million dollar mansion is just too cramped. You know what real hardship looks like? Working three jobs to feed your family. That's the reality for millions of Americans who aren't sitting around feeling sorry for themselves.
Here's what really grinds my gears - Meghan seems to think that just because she shares some surface-level traits with Kamala Harris, that somehow means she's qualified for high political office. News flash honey - having melanin and liking big words doesn't an elected official make. Let's also not forget that everything Meghan has - her platform, lifestyle, it's all from marrying into the royal family that she's done nothing but trash at every opportunity. What makes her think she can just pivot to American politics now?
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Does she seriously think the voters will forget all her drama and controversy? That we'll be too dazzled by her Hollywood smile to notice her utter lack of experience? Well let me break it to you, Meg - Americans aren't as easily fooled as you seem to think. We can see right through attempts to stay relevant. You're nothing but an entitled gold-digger who lucked into a prince and now wants to cash in on that royal fame.
And it's not just me who sees through her - word is Kamala Harris herself isn't thrilled about these comparisons either. In fact, she's downright furious that Meghan is trying to ride Harris' coattails in the political arena. Can you blame her? Kamala has spent her entire career working tirelessly to get where she is today through merit alone. Of course she wouldn't want some fame-hungry former royal trying to claim kinship and piggyback off Kamala's accomplishments. It's insulting and exactly the kind of entitled behavior we've come to expect from Meghan.
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So here's a message for you, Meg: No means no. The door to American politics is closed, locked and bolted shut - and no amount of crocodile tears or comparisons to actual politicians will change that. Politics is about serving the people, not preening for cameras or playing the perpetual victim card. But Meghan couldn't even handle being a working royal - what makes her think she could handle the pressure of high elected office?
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My advice? Stop trying to force your way into every arena, stop trying to piggyback off accomplished women, and stop acting like a victim when you have more privilege than most could dream of. You married a prince for crying out loud - you're not lacking in opportunities. Instead of constantly grasping for more attention and fame, try using your platform to actually help people for once. Because right now, Meghan, you come across as fake as a three dollar bill. Do yourself a favor and sit this one out.
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